I found this the other day, I remember writing it on a long train journey. Star Fluxx is a card game full of the classic set of Sci-Fi characters, if you want to know more check out it's official page here. The story was made by shuffling the deck, drawing a card and then writing that card into the story, it was quite fun and I'm pleased to say made a vaguely sensible story. Enjoy!
A starship captain is orbit over a distant planet where evil robots have just killed everyone. A sinister monolith has been erected by the robots with the help on an energy being which is designed to transfer people's brains with that of the energy being; who is infact an ancient star warrior.
On a nearby small moon an alien city is trading with this unseen force. It is written in the stars that a holographic projection will warn the captain that the combined force of the monolith and the small moon is too great. Meanwhile a cute fuzzy alien causes a malfunction on the ship while ch inadvertently alerts the evil unseen force who realises that a party have to land on the planet.
With the help of a friendly guide the away team find a powerful computer, but one of the crew is afflicted with brain parasites and uses the computer to send an encoded message to a space station orbiting the moon. Intercepting the distress call the remaining ships crew grab their laser pistols and are about to leave when bug-eyed monsters appear on the ship. They ask then "what do you want?" But they don't answer. The captain radios up to say 'lasers on stun!' because he can interogate the monsters. His team return to the ship leaving the exendable crewman with the parasite behind. But the expendable crewman then uses the computer to hack the life support systems.
On the ship the air starts to run out, suddenly a time portal opens and a time traveller appears, he warns them that 'this is all been a trap.' And that really there is a 'double agenda', all the alien life forms are working together to protect two alien artifacts, an ancient crystal and the monolith. The captain is really under orders to get these items too. The crew belay all his commands and the time traveler restore lifes support. They ask why the captain wants the monolith, and he reveals that it is a doorway to the stars and untold power, he goes on to explain the political situation of his and surrounding smaller nations, which bore the crew, so they tell him to 'get on with it'. The scientist understands, he believes the captain is 'seeking new civilizations' because he is depressed and that while the robots have turned against them they would surely understand the situation.
Suddenly an imperial star destroyer (piloted by the expendable crewman) appears and fires on the ship, the captain yells 'we need more power, while cursing himself for not getting the energy crystal, which in hindsight was probably powering the giant computer. The doctor is nowhere to be found, having gone off with his namesake time traveler (they're both called bill) and there are many wounded. The captain disregards the belief that there is a problem and insists 'there is no trouble at all'. Grabbing one of the bug eyed monster he beats him until it is revealed that the alien city has medical supplies. They plot a course which the star destroyer in persuit.
Having concluded that the brain parasite has turned his friend evil and that the energy crystal must be in the computer the captain contemplates his next move. However, the travel guide they found on the planet turns out to be evil too and suggests they use the teleport chamber to get back to the computer. As their ship tries to dock with the orbiting space dock the away team return to the planet. Only to find that their laser weapons are useless, the energy being uses the monolith to transfer is mind to one of the away team, but no one is sure who and he teleports the planet deep in to space. The away team are now LOST IN SPACE! and so have to cancel all their social plans... Little do they know that having captured the space station (and fixed the crew) their starship is racing towards them thanks to a little help from the scientist and the time travelling doctor! All is not lost!
The evil expendable crewman cannot pursue them and so instead infiltrates the space station and steals the time machine plans. On the far off planet the captain (who is obviously possessed by the energy being) is using strange powers on the other crew in order to find out all he can about the current universe before he conquers it. Suddenly the starship arrives, but it is out of fuel, he kills the rest of the away party and takes the crystal from the computer. The captain's crew say that with it they can make a wormhole and get home. He says 'beam me up', and they do but they want to know how the away team died, so he simplifies matters by infecting them all with brain parasites. His trusty expendable crewman arrives carrying the plans for The time machine, which allow the captain to travel back in time to the ancient city of the robots (where he died 2000 years before) to retrieve his laser sword off his cold dead corpse. With this in hand he vows to return to the future and conquer the universe.
Unbeknownst to him an artificial intelegence sneaks into the ships computers and finds the cute alien creature asleep on one of the processing towers, realising the danger the universe is facing it engineers it into a meca-awesome-fuzzy-alien-creature-of-doom. The creature enthused with a sense of justice goes and bites the captain on the leg while the ai shuts down the ship, wihout an engineer (away team) or the doctor (who decided he preferred renaissance Britain to space travel) he cannot fix the ship, or himself and so dies of a combination of tetanus and lead poisoning, having fulfill it's mission the alien creature sheds It's mechanical parts, raids the kitchens, and curls up to sleep on top of a warm ventilation pipe, the crew (whose brain parasites have dead without their evil master) are left scratching the holes in their heads wondering what just happened and how the hell they were going to get home.